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List:       postfix-users
Subject:    OT/fun: rejection poems
From:       /dev/rob0 <rob0 () gmx ! co ! uk>
Date:       2008-04-14 22:42:36
Message-ID: 200804141742.36366.rob0 () gmx ! co ! uk
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I was discussing my header check rule today which rejects "mail from
the past" (obviously invalid Date: header.) It was lame and boring, so
I was challenged to make a poem of it. Here is the result:

/^Date: .* (19[0-9][0-9]|200[0-7])/             501 5.5.2
        As all good things come to an end,
        So did the year from which you send.
            We eagerly await
            Your mail in '08;
        Please set your clock and try again.

The first draft wasn't suitable for a mail server, but I thought it
rather more amusing:

        As all good things come to an end,
        So did the year from which you send.
        Please set your clock and try your luck,
	And see if we will give a ....

("Please set your clock, log out, reboot; resend and see if we give a
hoot!" -- still not polite, but not as crude.)

Finally my old classic Haiku HELO check, rejecting a HELO which
contains my own IP address (intentionally not anchored):

/66\.226\.201\.55/      	501 5.7.1
        Spammer comes to me,
        Greets me with my own IP,
        Spam I shall not see.

Copyright(C) 2008, /dev/rob0: redistribution with attribution is
permitted. Poetry is hard. And no, I am not quitting $DAYJOB, thanks
for your concern.
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